The pandemic undoubtedly has a profound impact on my constant feeling of being ungrounded. My feet haven’t felt the earth in a long time. The future is even more uncharted than before.
As a bright-eyed college student living alone in the cultured neighborhood of Harlem, I can say with certainty that I had loved having an uncharted future. That meant anything was possible. I was untethered, free to roam, wander, experiment.
And after COVID hit, I had the same realization: anything was possible. I had a brutal reconciliation with my own mortality, which is another door I may open online one day. I moved back home and remained safe and secure throughout it all. My body was safe, but my mind was fair game.
Now, the uncharted future went from exhilarating to frightening. I didn’t know what would happen once I graduated; I hadn’t thought that far ahead–not seriously, not truly. I was scared; I still am. I don’t have any answers or solutions and I damn well don’t have any hint of where my life ought to go. I’m trying to learn how to love the unknown again. I show that process through Caught in a Cloud, a zine that includes thoughtful poetry and prose.
Caught in a Cloud has no hidden meaning; I love daydreaming. I’m a writer; that’s really all a writer does. I spend hours in my head daydreaming of other worlds, both possible and impossible. But now I’m stuck there. My head is in the clouds and I can’t get it out.